Losing You It's Effortless
by MaddyLovesL
Summary: Shikamaru and Neji's relationship wasn't serious; No strings attached sex. And then Neji went missing in action. And Shikamaru he bent, and then he broke, and the world as he saw it - his world, it fell apart. Shikamaru/Neji.
1. Chapter 1

It was simple. No stings attached sex. And that was how it should be. For in this world you couldn't afford to involve your emotions. You would just end up suffering a great deal. And so Shikamaru had learned to keep these emotions out of the way. For this was how it should be.

But then…

"Hyuga Neji had disappeared. He is presumed to be missing in action. The last TenTen and Rock Lee saw of him, he was being dragged down a valley by unknown person or persons. Your mission is simple; Find him, bring him back. Dead or alive."

And Tsunade's words hit him with the force of lightening. And his chest suddenly narrowed uncomfortably, and his eyes they stung terribly, and suddenly his throat seemed to expand.

'_Dead? Dead? Neji? No… Surely not. Not Neji. This was a mistake. It was someone else. Someone else. Please let it be someone else.'_

"Nara Shikamaru… Here." And with this Tsunade slid across the table a small bird on a string. The bird was a simple silver carving.

"I know." And with this, Tusnade handed Shikamaru the small pendant, and handed Shikamaru a tissue.

Shikamaru recognized the pendant. Neji had always kept it safe, kept it secret, feared everyone's scorn. He had worn it always, and Shikamaru remembered how Neji refused to take it off, even when they had sex. Not that Shikamaru had minded at the time, it had made the Hyuga look picturesque. More exposed – because everyone knew how much small birds like this meant to Neji. They acted as his signature for most things.

Shikamaru refused the tissue, and left the tower, leaving Tsunade perturbed and extremely irritable to Shizune's dismay for the rest of the afternoon.

**…**

Neji's eyes opened.

This was some sort of wooden shack. It was dusty and smelled of sweat, and a sickening copper smell of blood, great big vats of it, Neji was sure. In the middle there was positioned a table. Around the table, various instruments and devices Neji didn't want to know the name of, let alone what they were designed for, though it was fairly obvious in most cases.

Blurry figures flitted in and out of the corner of Neji's vision.

His forehead felt sticky. Sure enough Neji was able to make out great big rusty stains on his shirt, contrasting horribly with the white.

He must have been here a long time for the blood to have dried.

Mutters.

Whispers.

A snigger.

"Look… Waking… Look at his face…"

"Woah, get him out of his clothes."

"Why?"

"Firstly, they are stained with blood, secondly he would look damn good without them on."

Neji's heart hammered painfully against his chest. Blood was rushing to his head. He couldn't let them, couldn't let them…

'_Shikamaru. He would come for him surely? Someone!' _

_He couldn't just stay here! Someone get him out!_

**…**

Shikamaru stared around critically at the number of shinobi gathered. Hinata was one of them. She wouldn't be able to handle the mental strain, Shikamaru could see that already.

"Hinata… Please. We know how much you want Neji to come back, but please stay here. It wouldn't be any good for you to come with us. It would only distress you further. You must stay here."

Her face crumpled.

"Shikamaru-kun. Please. I must see him."

"No. I won't allow it. I'm sorry Hinata. Just please stay here. Neji would hate to see you so worried."

Hinata's temper flared dangerously.

"If he's even alive by the time you're done having this argument!"

Nobody moved. Hinata's word hung like unwanted wasps on a Summer's day.

'… If he was still alive.'

"He will be. He better be. And if he isn't I'll drag him back to life myself. You can make my job easier by staying here."

Hinata opened her mouth. Then closed it again.

She nodded, her jaw set, but the tears flooded her eyes anyway.

"If you don't bring him back alive…" She warned, and with that she left, leaving the remaining few.

Sakura, Shikamaru was sure could handle it. No matter how foolish she could be in the matters of Sasuke, or Naruto even, she should be able to handle it being Neji.

This thought made Shikamaru want to lash out at her, but he stopped himself. She was after all a brilliant medic.

Naruto wouldn't leave anyway, that much was for sure, all due to his promise to Neji, all those years ago. When would he keep that promise?

Sai… Sai would be fine. He was that sort of person.

Chouji. Dear Chouji. He only came along because he knew Shikamaru would need him. Even if Neji was alive, there might be serious damage. He might have lost his eyesight, might have lost a limb, might have been mutilated, raped… Shikamaru had tried to ignore the latter. Rape was always a serious matter. The victim, sometimes went mad. If Neji had been raped, god help the people who had done it.

Ino. Again Ino was excellent when it came to being a medic. Not only that, she wanted to help Shikamaru just as much s Chouji. The mental strain, again, was something else though. But, with Chouji here, Ino should be absolutely fine.

Kiba and Shino stood out to Shikamaru the most. They were after all the ones who would be tracking down Neji's trail, would be the ones responsible for finding him. He was putting all his faith in the pair of them.

"Let's go."

And with that, all eight of them, left, leaving behind a sun set which stained the top of the forest, deluding some people who might have been watching it, that the forest had caught fire.

**…**

Neji's vision was hazy. Little did he know, that drugs were administered to him regularly through his water. He was too tired too notice.

Being torn from his friends; that was exhausting.

Being torn from safety; that was exhausting.

Being pocked and prodded; that was exhausting.

And missing Shikamaru; Well, that was exhausting too.

A man grabbed his wrist. Neji didn't even have the strength left to raise his head.

"Ah, Hyuga-san, how far you have fallen. Then again you climbed far didn't you? You should have realized that you would fall further in doing so."

Familiar… From a long time ago… Chuunin… Exams. Naruto's voice. Talking about a man with glasses.

Grey hair.

Kabuto.

Immediately Neji's brain processed this information. Kabuto, which led to Sasuke, which then led to Orochimaru. Which led to danger. Neji wanted to yell. Wanted to utter some sort of sound as a needle sank in to his skin. Wanted to do something. But all he could do was watch helplessly as the needle punctured his skin, watch still more helplessly as his life blood was sucked up towards a long cold, unfriendly looking tube. Watched as Kabuto's grin stretched across his face. And Neji's stomach flipped, as he emptied its contents across the floor.

**…**

"_Stop it."_

_Shikamaru winced._

"_Don't do that. Please don't do that. If you do that, you'll confuse your feelings. If you do that, we'll both end up completely broken. So stop."_

_Shikamaru reluctantly withdrew his hands from Neji's slender waist. Reluctantly watched as Neji inched further away from him. It was strange. And so lonely. Neji would never allow Shikamaru to hold him after sex. _

_It really did hurt. And it really was terribly lonely. The absence of Neji's body heat seemed to be peculiarly loud. Seemed to remind Shikamaru that in this world, his feelings really didn't count for anything. And of course this was the truth of the matter. It always had been for people like them._

_**...**_

Shikamaru awoke.

Dreaming about the past… That was for old people. Wasn't it?

"Shikamaru…"

"Chouji."

Chouji's face showed concern, his large features twisted in pity, and in frustration at knowing that he couldn't help him. Chouji felt so helpless. Shikamaru had always helped him, and now he, Chouji couldn't offer one word of sympathy.

"You were dreaming." It was a statement.

"Yeah." There was no point in lying.

"About Neji?"

Shikamaru nodded.

It was stupid really. It wasn't as if what they had was special. Not really. Neji had always made that crystal clear. Had always warned Shikamaru to back off, if he ever came to close, if he ever tried to show any feeling towards him. Neji's reason was strange…

Shikamaru could remember him telling him clearly.

"Sleep Shikamaru. You'll need strength for tomorrow." Here Chouji hesitated, as though hewing over what he thought might ease Shikamaru's agitation.

"What is it?" Chouji was terrible at hiding his feelings.

"Kiba… Kiba and Shino. They picked up a scent. Well. More a trail and a scent."

"Chouji?"

Chouji was caught now. It wasn't a particularly reassuring fact. Wasn't at all what Shikamaru would want to hear, but Shikamaru would feel worse if head it from Shino or Kiba, the people who he knew least.

"It's blood, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru's facial expression didn't change. Instead it froze. In horror. In disgust. In fear. Something. Some unnamed emotion, which should really have a name.

"Also, it will rain tomorrow Shikamaru. So we really do need to speed things up. In this process you need sleep. Please."

Shikamaru moved in a daze. He watched his hands moving to retrieve his blanket. Watched himself as if in a dream. Or under water. He watched himself, but he couldn't feel his body. Couldn't connect properly.

And in this process, Shikamaru fell in to a state between sleeping and waking. And each time, he saw Neji's face. Yet each time he saw Neji, the more blurred his face became. Until finally he couldn't remember what he looked like at all.

A clear sign of re-thinking things. Being a genius, really could be a pain in the ass.

**…**

"Kabuto… Do you have the sample?"

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

A leer.

"With this sample, we should be able to accurately recreate the Byakugan blood line in one of these embryos. This takes me back to when I created the man who controls the wood element. The last of his kind I believe. Of course this experiment is much improved, the chance of most of the embryos rejecting the solution as been lessened by seventeen percent."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

The test tube babies quivered in their liquids.

**…**

"_The closer I become to people, the lonelier I become. Very time one of them gets hurt, I feel hurt, every time I know someone intimately, the harder it becomes to say no."_

_Shikamaru really didn't understand. _

"_Neji… Please. Let me in. Please. Stop building up walls, you'll only end up hurting yourself. Please."_

_Some evenings were often like this. Shikamaru would plead with Neji to be a part of his world. But how could Shikamaru ever understand that Neji's world… It was dreadful. It was limited, everything was decided for him, and as far as Neji knew, he already had a spouse. The things Neji wore, were decided for him, long white robes, typical of the Hyuga clan, his hair, although Neji admitted he liked his hair long, it was also decided for him. He remembered how angered his Uncle had been when he saw just how long Neji's hair was when he was only five. The longer your hair; the more powerful you were, which is why Hinata's hair had always been cut short by her father for a long time. Though, truth be told, he had been underestimating her a great deal. _

_And now, Neji could feel Shikamaru's fingertips playing with his hair, twisting, combing, and Neji shoved him away. _

"_Don't. I told you already. Just don't you dare."_

_And so Shikamaru was made to be lonely. Even when Neji lay next to him._

_But there were times, during those peculiar moments during the night, when you woke up and you weren't quite sure why, when Neji would snuggle closer to Shikamaru, subconsciously. And when Neji awoke first, he was horrified to see how close he was, and how much he enjoyed the feeling of having Shikamaru to lean against and fold himself into. It was like being protected from the world._

**…**

Neji could see.

He felt like crying with relief, his days of darkness were over at last! He would never again take for granted the art of sight.

A man had woken him, it became apparent, by squirting random shots of water at him. Immediately Neji felt annoyed, and when the man tried it again, he was shocked to see the water squirting right back at him, to hit him squarely in the face.

"Bloody nerve." He muttered.

Instead of resuming this rather fun game (in Neji's opinion anyway) of cat and mouse, he shoved a bowl of rice towards him.

It did not look unpleasant, in fact Neji's stomach growled.

"Eat."

Neji stared at the man. He was an ugly man, lopsided proportions.

"No."

"Eat it. Or do you want me to force you to?"

Neji stared evenly back.

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, well, well…"

Neji turned…

Kabuto's silhouette framed the door.

"I don't think you understand, Hyuga Neji, it is your duty to Orochimaru-sama to stay alive. You understand? This means your body must be functioning perfectly, and that means that you must eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Oh."

Kabuto retreated to a corner of the room, opened a cupboard, and wheel out an IV.

Neji did not recoil, though he knew from experience at Tsunade's hospital, how much these hurt to get put in.

"I'll just feed the nutrients directly in to your blood line, then shall I?"

Neji didn't answer. He would not give Kabuto the pleasure.

Sure enough, the jab came, the needle-like tube, was injected in to his left wrist, where the vain was just visible. He watched in mild disgust as the clear liquid rushed to his blood stream. These things always made him light-headed.

"By the way, Neji-kun…" Kabuto sneered, "Your friends are coming for you, do you remember why you came here? Hmm?"

Neji really did try to remember.

But all he could think of were Lee and TenTen's screams.

'Why am I here?'

"Oh… You don't remember?"

Kabuto tutted.

"Should we jolt your memory then hmm?"

And with this Kabuto placed his hands on Neji's temples.

**…**

_TenTen was screaming. Lee was yelling. They were hurting._

"_Well…?"_

_An answer, Neji had to give them an answer. The kunai in his shoulder was painful, he could see his blood dripping to the dusty ground, turning a black colour almost instantly. _

_He had to give an answer._

"_Come with us. Or your friends over there, will regret the day they were born."_

_TenTen was crying. Sobbing. The pain racked her frame, sent her sprawling to the ground, and she clutched at her shoulders miserably._

_Lee was yelling. He was clutching his head, forced to his knees._

_They were dying._

"_Stop it… Stop. I'll go, just stop… Please."_

_A smirk._

"_Good boy…"_

**…**

Neji's face was wet. With tears. With sweat. He could not tell. Kabuto smiled tenderly, almost in a motherly fashion down at him.

"There, there."

He caught the moisture, tears apparently, with his thumb, wiping Neji's face tenderly, stroking his hair soothingly.

"It's alright, everything's alright. We'll take good care of you… Shh… Shh…"

And Neji blacked out.

**…**

Blood, obviously old, was flaking on the ground. Here and there Shikamaru could make out, what he assumed were TenTen and Lee's desperate frames, footprints, sometimes there was a fragment of material.

"Shikamaru…"

The Nara turned.

Kiba held out a head band.

The metal was a rusty crimson colour.

Shikamaru felt his stomach flip.

He vomited.

**…**

Naruto cried out.

It was like that time where he lost Sasuke. Like the time where the only thing that remained was a headband. But at least then, he had known Sasuke was alive.

He too, felt hi stomach flip at the sight of Shikamaru vomiting, but instead her rubbed soothing circles on the Nara's back, hoping to calm him, to try to reassure him.

"It's alright Shikamaru. If Neji were dead, there would be a body around here. Just keep positive. Remember that Lee and TenTen said they saw him being dragged away. Now why drag him away to be killed? Why not just kill him here? It wouldn't make sense, Shikamaru. Just calm down. Neji wouldn't die on me."

Naruto spoke with such reassurance that Shikamaru almost believed him.

**…**

Sasuke stared down at the crumpled heap which lay pathetically in the cell. Strangely, he couldn't help but be reminded of a bird. He could almost see the two snapped off wings lying either side of Neji.

He hadn't seen this boy… Well man now, for almost four years. It was strange. Neji brought back so many memories. Konoha… The rivalry between the Uchiha and the Hyuuga clan. In some way Sasuke also knew he was descended from Neji. It had been proven a while ago.

The form on the ground shivered.

Sasuke unlocked the cell.

The form shifted.

Eyes peaked out at him, almost timidly, like a frightened animal, or a butterfly caught in a spider's web.

"Come to poke fun, Uchiha?"

Sasuke did not reply.

The form shivered some more. The cell was actually, now Sasuke came to think about it, extremely icy.

Sasuke reached up to a shelf, hidden in the wall.

Neji closed his eyes.

Instead of a wooden plank, or something of that description to come crashing down on Neji's shoulders, or his head, a blanket landed softly over his form.

Neji opened hi eyes again.

But Sasuke was gone.

**AN: WHY is hospital food SOOOO gross? Seriously? . I have the urge to eat a tangerine. =) But then they have NONE? D: WHUT? D8 Anyway ahem, constructive criticism? Tangerine anyone? =)**


	2. Chapter 2

Lee was dreaming. Neji. Neji. Neji. There he was Neji. Kunai in one shoulder, face covered in blood. He couldn't tell if it was the enemy shinobi's blood or Neji's. He didn't really want to know either. Neji's head was bowed slightly. A nod. No. No, Neji! But Neji was slowly fading. Fading in to the craggy background. And Lee could not do anything. All he could do was scream, and clutch his head in pain, until he blacked out.

**…**

Sasuke was gazing in to Neji's cell yet again. The man lay there on the hard unforgiving floor yet again. The blanket Sasuke had thrown over him was wound tightly around the small figure. Neji's waist, Sasuke realized was similar to Naruto's, in the way that it was small, and curved inwards like a woman's. Naruto… Sasuke would never regret meeting Naruto. Even if it killed him. But, Naruto had to stay away. For his own sake.

The figure stirred. Long hair hung over one shoulder. It was soaked in a strange and slightly revolting black substance. Sasuke supposed it had once been blood. Who's he didn't know.

A weak cough. It wrenched at some human emotion Sasuke had long ago buried deep within him. The unknown emotion burned through his veins, tugged at his heartstrings.

Pity. No. Sympathy.

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction in realization. He hadn't felt sympathy for a long time. When was the last time?

Sasuke could not remember.

"Uchiha…"

Neji's voice was cracked, as though his throat was dryer than sand paper.

Sasuke walked away.

Neji slumped back to the floor. Sasuke was an asshole after all. He had redeemed himself yesterday, but now when Neji needed water so badly he would rather die than not have it, the Uchiha walked away?

A clanking.

Footsteps. Neji did not have the energy to look up. Probably a guard, come to make fun of him, or stare at him hungrily. Or laugh and cuddle him and pet him. Something not even Shikamaru had been allowed to do.

At the thought of Shikamaru Neji's eyes stung. He hit himself mentally.

Such a woman sometimes.

Neji's body was forced gently upwards in to an upright position. Neji did not care. He felt like a puppet who's strings had been tragically cut.

A cold glass was pressed against his chapped lips.

Cold water ran down his throat to sore the aching places.

Neji raised his eyes upwards as he drank. Sasuke… He really wasn't an asshole. Quite the opposite. Even human at times. Funny that.

Sasuke gazed downwards at Neji. He was strongly reminded of a baby deer he had once hand fed with his brother. The deer had strayed off Nara property most likely and had later been rejected by its mother because it had smelled alien. Itachi had brought it home. Sasuke had fed it warm milk, and felt suddenly proud of himself, like a father. The doe had looked up at him in much the same way as Neji was now. Large brown eyes were now replaced with large stormy silvery eyes, and long brown lashes were now replaced with long black lashes. Nostalgia, Sasuke had yet to learn, was a dangerous emotion for someone in his position.

**…**

Shikamaru and his team now stood outside a tree. An understatement. The tree was the biggest thing Shikamaru had ever seen in his life. It reached upwards and upwards until at some point it seemed to merge with the sky, and on a cloudy day like today, it disappeared in the clouds. The trunk stretched outwards for about twenty-five to thirty meters. The strangest thing was that this tree was only one of many that they were now encountering. Dozens and dozens of trees like this lay behind this one.

"N-Neh Shikamaru, if the trees are like this, do you think the animals will be just as big to match the surroundings?" Ino's voice was shaking slightly. She hated insects. And spiders made her faint.

Shikamaru didn't know. He could only guess.

"Shikamaru.. Neji's scent. It goes further… If they could get through here fine, then we should be able to."

Shino's logical, reasoning voice. Shikamaru had the urge to shake Shino. To knock all reason from his body. But this was only because Shikamaru was amazingly unreasonable.

Shikamaru forced himself to nod evenly. Forced himself to look strong for the others. For Ino. For Chouji. It made his head ache dully.

**…**

_He loved mornings like this. Sometimes Neji would just lie in bed, burying himself beneath the covers so that all of which could be seen of Neji, were a few strands of dark hair._

_Shikamaru loved mornings like this. He would get up drink too much coffee, smoke too many cigarettes, sometimes admire the rainy mornings, and would just love the feeling of loving Neji. So long Shikamaru had felt lonely. Chouji and Ino… They were getting closer and closer each passing moment, Asuma… Gone. Vanished from his life. From time to time he would see Kurenai. But there would always be some sort of strain. Completely invisible. There would be the unspoken words, trickling like sand between the long silences. _

_But now thee was Neji. Someone who had always been lonely. Someone who had built up walls. Isolated himself. Who knew why. _

_Still, Shikamaru had to admit that Neji had become a little less tense about a lot of things in his life. The clan robes, Neji now wore, he also trained regularly with his uncle, and had stopped terrorizing his cousins. Shikamaru had to envy the man who had brought about this change. Naruto. _

_Naruto had changed him so much. In subtle ways, but you could still see a tremendous difference. Sometimes Shikamaru often wanted to ask Neji why Naruto had changed him. But maybe it was best to leave it. Still…_

_"Sh…" Neji broke off and yawned. "Kamaru?" _

_Shikamaru turned and made his way slowly to the bundle of blankets in his bed. _

_"Yes…?" He teased, stroking Neji's hair back in to place. _

_Neji immediately swatted him._

_"Drink?"_

_Shikamaru sighed inwardly._

_"Of course Neji."_

**…**

Hands. Crawling like spiders up and down Neji's legs. Tugging insistently at his clothing, playing with his hair, roughly grabbing, hot breath.

It was repulsive. Neji's wanted to die. He would rather die than let them do this. But right now, he didn't have the choice. Why wasn't anyone here? Why weren't they rescuing him? Why was this happening anyway?

If only he hadn't gone on that mission. He could hear Gai's voice now.

"… if you don't want to, you don't have to, it is after all easy, and wouldn't exactly improve your standards…"

But still, Neji had gone. Because he had felt bored… God, how he regretted it. How much he would like to go back and change what he had done. Maybe in a parallel world, he might not have gone. Might have instead stayed to train with his uncle. What did his uncle think of all this? How was Hinata doing? Would he ever teach Hanabi how to aim properly?

"What's going on?"

The men surrounding Neji, immediately fell back. Stupid brutes. Neji's skin prickled from the cold, which had now replaced their wandering hands.

"Nothing… We were just…" here the speaker paused, "having a laugh, Sasuke-sama."

'Sama… So they really do respect him… Funny how that is.'

"Go have your fun some place else."

Sasuke's eyes had merged in to a threatening shade of magenta.

The men scampered pathetically away.

"Cowards." Neji spat the word out bitterly.

"Are you unharmed?"

"Yes. My pride isn't, nor is my dignity."

Sasuke said nothing, instead he stared somewhat suspiciously and the bruised hand prints on Neji's torso.

"Why?"

"Why what, Hyuga?"

"Why protect me?"

Sasuke hesitated. What did he have to lose?

"I know… I know how much you mean to Naruto." The tone was so flat Neji had to blink before he comprehended its full meaning.

"Why do you do this? Why do you seek revenge?"

"You wouldn't know. You don't know what it feels like to have everything you love, everything you need, torn from you."

Neji paused. He knew full well what that felt like. His father…

"You are immature. It doesn't give you a reason to hurt everyone around you, because of what happened years ago. You have to learn to do the right thing, even if it's the hardest, and the right thing for you would be to let go."

Sasuke's expression hardened.

"It's easy for you to say. But you don't understand."

"How do you know?"

"You've never had anything taken from you."

An image swam in to Neji's foggy mind. His father's face. His father was smiling. Then his father's dead face. Pale. Paler than it was in life. Lips blue. Red staining the bandage which had been carelessly wrapped around his torso.

"Uchiha. You have no idea."

**…**

Hiashi's eyes were stinging. What had he done? First hi brother he had lost. Then he had lost his nephew. His beloved nephew. Neji. Hinata was worried sick. She was now lying in bed with a fever, and Hanabi had stopped eating. She was constantly training. She kept saying to him, that she had to perfect her aim for Neji, because he had always told her it was shoddy and had then taken to giving her extra lessons, at four in the morning. Hanabi's palms were red, patched with blisters and covered in nasty gashes. Hinata had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, and nightmares.

And now Hiashi himself crumbled. He sobbed brokenly.

**…**

Hinata gazed from her bed out of her window. There were dark rain clouds gathering on the horizon. The first few patters of raindrops hit her window. And right at that moment she couldn't help but hate herself for being safe, for being tucked up in bed, for being warm. And she hoped vainly that perhaps, in that rain storm, Neji was alive, was dry, was safe, was warm. She needed him to be safe.

…

Hanabi let the rain soak her. After all, she had to perfect this stupid aim. Had to. The rain pelted hard on her shoulders, small needles, mercilessly pounding down on her small frame.

Her body was aching. Still, she thought, if she couldn't get through this difficult rainy time, then there would be no rainbow on the other side. Would there?

**…**

Shikamaru and his team came to a halt.

The rain was pouring.

'No… No god damn it!'

"Kiba!!!"

"The trail ends here Shikamaru! There is no way we can make it at this rate!"

"Shino!"

Shino said nothing.

**…**

_"You know what you remind me of Neji?"  
_

_Neji sleepily muttered something about Shikamaru being a 'silly, soppy, sentimental, disconnected drainpipe'._

_Shikamaru chuckled lazily._

_"You sort of remind me of the smell before the rain. You're absolutely lovely, but you're only brief, and sometimes that hurts."_

_Neji sat up._

**…**

"Shino… Please?"

Something about Shikamaru's tone scared Shino. Begging. That wasn't like Shikamaru at all. Shikamaru was calculating, a genius, mathematical. He was never dramatic, emotional or poetic. And suddenly it clicked.

Neji and Shikamaru.

Shikamaru and Neji.

Lovers.

"I'll do my best."

What else should he have said?

And with that Shino sent his bugs flying through the air.

Kiba had the sense to start tracking.

**…**

Neji's mind was foggy. Odd images seemed to flicker in his head. Shikamaru's face came up frequently. What Neji wouldn't give now just to be help by the lazy moron.

**…**

Hinata stood resolutely outside the Hokage's room. It was painfully silent. Usually there would be children, making mischief sometimes, dragging a black cat for an old lady, screeching at the thought of their first mission. But the rain. It had driven them all away. And even though Hinata's fevered brain could not think properly, she had somehow snuck from the Hyuga compound and had stealthily made her way through the foggy, rainy village.

She watched her hands move forward, watched as her fingers brushed the doorknob. She felt completely detached. As though she were a ghost watching her body move by itself. The cool doorknob did not register on her touch senses.

Tsunade lay slumped over a pile of paperwork. Her blonde hair was knotted, her face a paler shade of white, her eyes had dark circles surrounding them. She had after all lost one of her best ninja. And the others were on a wild goose chase. Finding suitable replacements had not been easy.

A strong smell of drink wafted to Hinata's nose. Unpleasantly.

"Hinata!" The said girl winced.

Tsunade did not realize due to drink how loud she was being.

"Tsunade-sama… Is there… Any news o-on Neji?"

She cursed inwardly. Her old stutter had just shown itself.

**…**

_"Are you happy?"_

_The question was so unexpected Neji was suddenly caught in the headlights, so to speak._

_"I'm sorry?"_

_"Are you happy?" Shikamaru repeated slowly._

_"Of course I'm happy."_

_"Sure. Neji… Are you happy?"_

_Neji was beginning to be slowly annoyed._

_"Yes, I am happy, are you happy now that I've answered?"_

_"When was the last time you were happy?"_

_Neji opened his mouth. Thought. Then closed it again. When was the last time he had been happy? _

_Oh god… The last time he had been truly happy was when he had defeated that spider ninja. He hated spiders. _

_How many years ago had that been now?_

_Five? Six even. He hadn't been happy. During all that time. Oh god. _

_"You're not happy… You never will be. Please Neji. Let me in."_

_"We've been through this before, you stupid-"_

_"Neji." Shikamaru clamped a hand over Neji's mouth._

_"I love you, Hyuga Neji."_

_Neji felt terrible._

**...**

Neji's throat hurt.

It was dark. Three in the morning he estimated.

Here he was, at three in the morning. All alone. Alone with his thoughts and his memories.

Neji hated it. Hated facing his emotions. Hated knowing that he did love Shikamaru. No matter how much he tried to deny it. He tried saying it, alone in the dark. But no matter how many times his mouth opened to form a sentence, no words could fall from his lips. The words were caught in his throat. Totally trapped. As a butterfly in a web.

Neji hated these times. During the night and day, and the nightmares and dreams. Hated the sleeping wake state. He hated hearing the thoughts echo resoundingly in his head.

**…**

Shikamaru stared fixedly at the waterfall.

"Neji's in there, Shikamaru. We're sure of it."

It was Kiba who spoke.

Sakura squinted up at the fall. The craggy rocks glistened coldly down at her. Sasuke was in there. Sasuke must be in there. This was, after all Orochimaru's hide out. Wasn't it?

Naruto caught her stare for the corner of his eye. It annoyed him, that even now, despite everything Sasuke had done to her, she could still love him, so unconditionally. But maybe Naruto had yet to learn, that loving, it wasn't conditional. It was learning to see through the mistakes and imperfections, and learning to love every burden the other carried. And maybe this is our fault, as human beings.

Ino unconsciously gripped Chouji's hand. Chouji gazed down at their interlocked hands in surprise. But decided not to say anything.

**…**

Alone, in a lab, with a cold blue screen glowing in the darkness, the only source of light in the room, Kabuto smiled.

"They've arrived."

**…**

Alone, in his cell, Neji gasped.

And almighty explosion ripped through the air, shocking everyone in the hide out in to complete and utter silence.

Then.

"NEJI!!!"

**AN: Ahem. Hello? You know, I coulda sworn green and yellow walls didn't work together... Ahem. I say Ahem a lot. -cough- Criticism. Which is of the constructive nature? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Shikamaru cursed. It was Naruto who had yelled out Neji's name.

"Naruto, shut up!" he hissed.

The chamber was dark, and damp, slimy and cold. Rats scuttled back in to the corners of the cavern. Gentle drops of water dripped rhythmically on to the stone floor.

A tension spread through the group. Sai's eyes shifted between the group members. Naruto straining to run flat out and search, Shino and Kiba watching Shikamaru nervously, Sakura was trembling, Sasuke no doubt on her mind, Ino and Chouji had clenched each other's hands. Shikamaru… Shikamaru looked oddly emotionless. A blank.

**…**

Neji was angry. He had wanted someone to rescue him, to take him away from here… But now they were here. They were all risking their lives to get him back. Why? He had never done anything to deserve this? Why? Damn it, why? What should he do? He didn't know. What should he do?

He took a breath.

**…**

_Neji wasn't sure why, but he had woken up. He glanced at the clock. Three minutes past four. Neji felt the heat of Shikamaru next to him. He turned around and observed Shikamaru in his most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. Hardly anyone he supposed had seen Shikamaru in this state. He breathed as though the weight of the world lay on anyone else's shoulders but his own. Neji smiled. He leant towards Shikamaru's face and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He turned back and lay down, and somehow and involuntary grin formed on his face. Just before Neji drifted back into the sleeping wake world, he felt an arm wrap around his waist and he knew… Shikamaru didn't lie._

**…**

The team had split up. They had come to a split. Two different directions. Shino, Shikamaru, Ino and Naruto had gone left, Sakura, Kiba, Chouji and Sai went right. A healer in each team. A tracker in each team. It was perfect. The rest were there to fight.

Shikamaru, Ino, Naruto and Shino had only gone a little way along one tunnel, when they reached yet another split. They turned left yet again.

Ten minutes later they came to yet another split. Again they turned left.

The passage grew darker. A green light began to seep through the passageway.

Figures began to move eerily around them.

"Shikamaru… We've begun to go around in circles." It was Ino who said it out loud.

"I know."

"What are they?" Naruto gestured at the figures who seemed to be constantly there.

They had made no hostile move up until now.

"It's a mirror image." It was Shino who answered, suprising Naruto, who had been expecting Shikamaru to know.

"Shikamaru, I believe we are in a circular tunnel. Basically if we were to approach a mirror and attempt to break it we would end up in a room, or we might end up outside, depending which side we break, left or right. Either way I believe there is something in that room, of great significance, and I think it would be wise to attempt to break the mirror."

"You think I haven't thought of that already?" Shikamaru retorted.

"I doubt there is anything of great value in that room or it wouldn't be protected by a child's defense. Either way I think we should get out of this bloody tunnel."

Ino nodded.

Naruto and Shino took one side, Ino and Shikamaru took the other.

The mirror gave way startlingly easily, so much so, that Naruto feel face forward on to the ground outside.

Ino and Shikamaru both stood their ground.

They had entered what seemed to be a bedroom. A nightstand with a burned down candle stood stiffly next to a bed, with pristine bed sheets. A mirror hung on one wall.

A wardrobe. Nothing more.

"This must be an underling's room." Ino spoke out loud what Shikamaru was thinking.

"We should see if there are any weapons we could use." Shikamaru indicated the wardrobe.

Black clothes. Uniform. A few kunai and shuriken. Ino stocked up on the smoke bombs.

Shikamaru took nothing.

Naruto and Shino meanwhile, had entered and were currently examining the floor.

"It would be useless to be a guard in the middle of nowhere." Naruto explained.

Shikamaru however, was gazing at the mirror.

He walked towards it. His reflection stared back at him.

'Why has nobody been sent to track us down? This is all way too easy.'

He stretched out a hand. Pushed. The mirror gave way. A crash.

"Shikamaru! Damn it, do you want to get us all killed?"

"Look!" Shikamaru gestured impatiently to where the mirror had once hung. A tunnel stretched endlessly before them. A dark gaping mouth of possibility. Ino walked towards it. Her skin caught the light, fair, and Shikamaru was strongly reminded of Neji, and his onion thin skin. A pastel shade of white. His chest constricted painfully, as though trying to squeeze all the air out of him.

"Shikamaru?" Shino brought him back to reality.

Ino and Naruto were already inside the tunnel.

"Yeah, let's go."

**…**

Sakura couldn't move. She was paralyzed. Terrified. Sasuke was standing before them. His eyes were like oil. Endless black depths.

Kiba, Chouji and Sai were all glaring at him.

"Why are you here?"

His voice had changed she noticed. Deeper. Steady. Empty. Dead.

"You fucking know why we're here."

It was Kiba who spoke. Chouji admired his courage. It took some guts to stand up to the Uchiha.

"For the Hyuga? Am I correct?"

A nod.

"I cannot let you pass. Your journey ends here. Come a step closer and I'll attack."

Sweat trickled down Sakura's back.

It was a strain just to stand in his presence. His Chakra was bearing down on her, squashing her, taking her air away.

Kiba moved first, he lunged at Sasuke with a kunai. Sasuke didn't even blink. Kiba fell. Not dead, unconscious.

Snakes wound their way around Sasuke's ankles. Sai had attacked. Sasuke's distaste showed plainly on his face. He raised an eyebrow.

Sai and Shino fell.

The Sasuke caught be snakes vanished in a puff of smoke.

Sakura couldn't react. It was happening too fast.

"Go. There is nothing you could do against me. It is pointless."

Sakura's resolve hardened.

"Wanna bet?"

She lunged forwards, kunai in hand. Sasuke had turned, had not been expecting this. He was caught off guard. Sakura raised the kunai above her head. Ten centimeters separated kunai and Sasuke's neck. Her hands shook.

Tears fell.

'I can't do this… Sasuke. I'm sorry.'

Sasuke sent her flying through the air. A scream was wrenched from her body as she flew. Her body landed ten feet away, cut from invisible strings that held her upwards.

Sasuke regarded the scene.

Too easy.

**…**

Shikamaru turned.

"Sakura!" Naruto yelled.

"No! Naruto! NO!"

Ino and Shikamaru restrained him, he fought, trying to get away, to help Sakura.

Shino punched Naruto hard in the stomach. Naruto fell.

"Remember the mission Naruto. Sakura wouldn't want you to screw it up because she got in to trouble."

Naruto's body shook somewhat.

He took a deep breath.

He nodded.

The brightly lit passage was lined with torches. Door on either side, each numbered.

"These look like sleeping quarters Shikamaru." Ino said aloud.

"I'm pretty sure they are, you can hear them breathing."

Sure enough a steady rhythmic breathing was coming from each room. It was as though the whole base was sleeping, tucked away in rocks and hidden from the world.

They walked for what seemed like months. Twists and turns, bends and staircases. Hidden passages, hidden rooms. Nothing.

Bars.

A sign marked 'laboratory'.

They all entered. Green and blue light. Bodies suspended in tanks, aquariums. Wires hooked in to the forms, feeding god knew what through the blood stream.

Regular beeps and drips from machines and IV's.

Shikamaru walked through a line of tanks. In some there were girls. Young children, tubes running through their arms, sometimes a larger tube leading in to their chest cavity. Sometimes suspended in liquid, other times they seemingly floated upwards. Held by air. Grown men, half way between man and animal were also held in cages or tanks, strapped down, hooked up to machines. Faces sunken, haunted, stuffed with pills and drugs.

Shikamaru halted. His stomach turned unpleasantly. Test tubes. At least a hundred. In all of which was an embryo, small their Chakra so weak and irregular, flittered and fluttered. As Shikamaru walked further forwards he found they grew bigger, more and more like a person, fingers, or arms, feet, toes, sometimes eyes. Though the eyes were shut.

"Where…" Ino swallowed, "where did he get the eggs for this? Where did he… Where…" she was trying not to cry.

Behind a cell door were women. Hundreds of women. All hooked up to an IV with which nutrients and hormones were being fed directly in to their blood line. They wore rags, but they all had one thing in common in terms of clothing. Their stomachs were exposed. A scar showed. Sometimes fresh, sometimes old. But all were just over the ovaries. Animals kept for meat. For milk. For fur. For eggs.

Ino sobbed. The women stirred. They could not speak. Their tongues had been cut out. Instead they reached out through the bars with the arm which was not hooked up to an IV. Ino stared, as they reached out to her.

Ino approached them. A younger woman grabbed Ino's hand through the bars.

Ino gasped.

The woman drew Ino closer. The woman wiped away Ino's tears. She shook her head. Ino's sobs subsided somewhat. The woman bit her thumb. Blood trickled down her hand. She bent down, reached out through the bars. Wrote something.

Shikamaru watched, frowning slightly.

In a ruby red, now stood; Are you scared?

Ino shook her head in disbelief.

She was scared.

But here stood this woman. Who had gone through so much, and yet could still be kind to the people who came here, even though she didn't know if they were doctors like Kabuto or friendly, and she still comforted her.

Ino smiled a shakey smile.

"I'm not scared."

"I wouldn't say that if I were you."

Kabuto.

His glasses glinted.

Anger coursed through Shikamaru's body, hot and fiery like lava. He wanted to hurt the man who had taken Neji away. Wanted to make him go through all the hurt he had been through in the last few days.

"Ah, there you are."

Kabuto was eyeing Shikamaru through his glasses.

"You're the one he was thinking about all those times."

Shikamaru wanted to hurt him.

"How do you know about that?"

Kabuto smirked.

"Brainwaves."

Ino gasped.

**…**

_Neji was shaking. His knees were wobbly. He couldn't see properly. His head was hurting. Aching. Black swam before his vision. He couldn't walk in a straight line. _

"_Neji?" _

_Shikamaru… Shikamaru… Shikamaru…_

_Please._

_He stumbled. He fell. Shikamaru caught him._

"_Neji? What happened?"_

"_They… They… Curse… Seal… Help…"_

_Anger coursed through Shikamaru's body. They had hurt him. Had broken him. His Neji._

_Shikamaru placed gentle kisses on Neji's face, wiped away the sweat, held him, if only to keep him from falling apart._

**_…_**

In his cell, Neji was pacing.

'Where was Shikamaru? Where was he?'

**…**

Shikamaru coughed. Blood spattered the laboratory floor.

**…**

Neji hurled himself at the bars.

**…**

Shikamaru lunged at Kabuto, he missed, he fell, Ino screamed.

**…**

Neji ran. He ran and ran, his muscles screamed in protest.

**…**

Shikamaru ran toward the grey haired man.

**…**

Kabuto smirked. Kunai plunged in to flesh as easily as would have done in to butter.

**…**

"Shikamaru!" Neji yelled.

He stood in the doorway of the laboratory.

**…**

Shikamaru's eyes widened, his life blood pooling steadily around him.

**…**

"Don't die! You don't have to win! Please. Don't die. I came here to protect you… To protect you all… Please… Just… Stop. Don't get hurt anymore than this. It's enough that you came here…"

Kabuto smirked.

"Quiet Neji."

He vanished.

Shikamaru's body flew through the air.

"No! God, NO!" Ino screamed, Shino trying to hold her back, to stop her from getting herself killed.

"SHIKAMARU!"


End file.
